I need to stop coming to work sober
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
