oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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