he puts the penis in happiness.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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