I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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