I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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