Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
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All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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