Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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