Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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