I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
