So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
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The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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