I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
