Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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