Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
