He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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