woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Is Oprah even human
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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