fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize