I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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