Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
