Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
