i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
