No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
