week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
