So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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