I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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