wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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