Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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