I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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