You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
