I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
