There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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