is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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