we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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