He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
