if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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