I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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