I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
ugly people sure do ruin things
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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