in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
