Christians are straight up FREAKS
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
