Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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