We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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