I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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