i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
