Sponge bath it is.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
