At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
