I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
