So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How drunk are you?
Completed.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
