the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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