the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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