The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
