Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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