Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
