everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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