I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
