I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize