Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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