Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
