i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
