Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
