When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
