Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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