I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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