just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh god it's open bar.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
