i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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