So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
