We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
