I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize