Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
