My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
